Relating
in the Light I: The Great Discovery
By
Kurai Chitima
Every young person does feel butterflies,
ice or ants at one stage or other. A young man proposed to a girl and the girl
said yes immediately. The young man
froze and did not know what to do next.
One hopes he did not apologize or say something like – ‘really?’ Such is
part of the adventure on the road to marriage.
The journey is enjoyable yet fraught with danger. This is first in a series of four sets of outlines that provide guidance on how best to conduct this
very important relationship to avoid pitfalls and maximize the joys.
I.
Why Find a Life Partner?
Common
Inadequate Reasons
Sexual intimacy as the main motive
To raise children as a major reason
To populate earth
To have a Director/House maid
To have someone to provide joy and peace
Out of pity for someone
For commercial or social gain
Because one is growing old and has to
find someone
Because everyone else is getting married
To please someone else (parents, pastor,
etc)
Biblical
Reasons
To enjoy mutual love and intimate
companionship[1]
To be a team to serve and contribute to
kingdom and society
Because marriage is honorable[2]
To raise godly children
To glorify God[3]
II.
When should one choose a life Partner?
When one is mature and has a clear sense of
direction for life. It is also wise to establish a credible means of earning
income before rushing into marriage. This indicator is essential for the man
who will carry the primary responsibility to roof, feed and fend the family.
III.
How long should a premarital Relationship Be?
Long enough to learn to know each other
better
Long enough to think and pray through as
much as possible of likely problems/challenges or opportunities
Long enough for as many people as possible
(relatives, friends, etc) to know about the relationship
Short enough to promote honor and purity
Short enough to avoid major changes in
lives of the two partners
long enough to allow enough time for either
to reflect on their decision and change minds if they should
Short enough not to gather a drifting
syndrome
IV How
To Be Sure?
Settle two questions in your heart about
yourself
What am I living for?[4]
What am I desiring to get into? Embrace the solemness and binding nature of
marriage
V. What
To Look For?
Look out for character/godliness, same
values, direction/focus. compatibility of vision/mission. not just outward. Is it someone you can happily submit to.
cautious with vast age, income, height,
backgrounds, cultures, education
V.
What to Do?
Pray fervently about transition to career/ministry and marriage[5]
Prepare diligently for transition to career and marriage
Delight Yourself in the Lord[6]
Develop healthy relationships. You will
marry from your networks of relationships.
Pursue your life goals
Wait for God[7]
instead of looking for right person make
self right person
Notes by Dr. Kurai Chitima.
Faith Ministries – Johannesburg Faith
Life Center.
First Floor Dhando House,
66 Eloff Street Extension,
Village Deep,
Johannesburg,
South Africa
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